Ever since I was little whenever I would hit my elbow against something and I felt that instant, crippling pain that meant the world was ending and I would never feel normal again, I would curse “¡mi suegra!” This translates to “my mother-in-law!” An interesting thing to know about me is that I am not married. Also, I was not married when I was four years old and would say this. I have never had a mother-in-law. I started saying this because that’s just what people yelled when they slammed this surprisingly sensitive corner of their body into some stationary object. I’m not sure if all Spanish-speaking nationalities use this phrase but my family is of Cuban descent so I can vouch for that group: we sure hate our significant other’s mothers!