My eating habits can be described in two terrible truths:
1. I will eat whatever food is in front of me regardless of whether I am hungry or even like it
2. I regularly daydream about desserts
Let me attempt to convey how big of a problem both of these are. Separately, I would have a minor food addiction but together I am an actual monster.
Recently, I ate a normal, boring dinner and then afterwards I went over to my aunt’s house and ate an entire bunch of grapes. I did not want to eat said grapes but they were in front of me so it was out of my control. In the history of this great, weird world where people voluntarily get plugs in their ears no one has ever honestly said “I am crazy craving grapes right now! I mean I have got to have some grapes!” Grapes don’t taste like anything even. That’s enough about grapes. I should also mention that in addition to half the grape supply in Miami, I also ate a generous (greedy) portion of nutella banana bread and it was a good night.
My second terrible truth manifested itself today when I was hanging out at my friend’s house and she mentioned how she wanted cookies. I suggested we go to the market and buy some cookie dough but she thought that was too much work. She obviously doesn’t have the same relationshit with food that I do because I dreamt of cookies until I could almost taste them in my mouth. And then as soon as I left her house I bought cookie dough and raced home. This happened an hour and a half ago and I’ve since had three cookies. This post is a cry for help.